MOVING: In 1,5 week I'll be moving to Baarn. It's 2,5 hours traveling from where I live now. Now that it keeps coming closer, I have to admit that I'm quite scared. It's the first time I'll be living on my own, but thats not the scariest part.
I'll be doing an internship with mentally handicapped people. I don't really know if I'll like it or not, but I decided that I want to take risks in life. I don't want to do the same old thing over and over, and if I don't like it: so be it. I learned and improved myself, thats the most important thing.
DENMARK: I'll be leaving to Denmark in 2 days with my entire family (I have also family living in denmark, they'll be having a party). My grandpa from 89 also comes along! I'm soo excited cause in 2004 I was with them, when they thought they'd never come back and now.. wow.. he is coming back. How many people from 89 years old can say that they'll travel 650 km? I don't think much will, and I'm so happy. But I also have some double feelings
cause my grandma isn't here any longer. I miss her sometimes.
SIGNLANGUAGE: I was watching signlanguage video's and I send a couple to Maria and she told me I should try and do it. I was like: I'm never ever going to be as good. And I'm not, but I still tried and here's the result. It's in dutch signlanguage..
And again I brought a new layout to life.. I actually like it, and again featuring Rihanna, I love this song disturbia, it's really freaky.
Let me tell you about what I've been up to the last couple of days. Let me start with that I;ve been working like crazy, so a colleague of me talked to my boss how good I work for the company blahblah, I felt a big star of happiness explode in me. It's so nice when your hard work is
appreciated, I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face to go to work at 6.45 AM ;)
Friday I went to Rondje Noord, it was a party where Dutch performes such as Nick en Simon (oh gosh, Nick is really hot >.<), Wolter Kroes and Mooi Wark are. The whole thing was going to be aired on RTV Noord, a regional tv station. LOL.. I had SOOO much fun.
The sun was shining (I love sun!) and there was funny music, I jumped like a idiot on music from Jan Keizer. But the worse thing is they taped me serveral times on tv. Jumping like an idiot. My reputation.... it's gone with the wind ;)
Oh and than.. a story I'm VERY proud of: Every artist sang 3 songs, and Nick and Simon were on stage and they finished, thanked the audience, and I winked and said: We want more, like a 14 year old would do ;), lol and I quit, but than this girl behind me exchanged glances, and I said it again, and Maria too. People around us.. and than... 12000 people.
Oh geee, and they sang another song: MY FAVOURITE. I had such a big adrenaline rush inside me, lol I haven't had that since I was 13 and I kissed Nick Carter LOL. So sad ;)
Check out the site, I redid the sections, rewrote the name meaning and I added a affiliate supply form on the linkage page.
Commenters
thanks to: Lotte.
Helene,
Maria
A month for today I'm having my drivingexam. Well let me tell you.. that's going to be exciting. LOL
I'm such a chickhead when I'm driving a car, really. Maybe you remember that a couple of months back I had trouble with my former driving instructor. I changed to another one, but
point of my story is: In my old drivinglessons, I learned it the wrong way!!
Sooo Peter (My new drivinginstructor) tried to teach me, but I kept doing it the old same way. Arch! So frustrating, so then he started to say: REM .. and I jumped in my seat cause he said it out loud haha.
Rem means brakes in Dutch, but also the first part of my name, well.. he had lots of fun with it, lol.. well I let the guy have some fun ;) Then
Than he tried to learn me a sudden stop. LOL, I had to drive and when he said stop, I needed to stop immediatly (spelled so wrong haha). You know what this woman did (I AM SOOOOO BLONDE) I kept hitting the brakes for a normal stop, just after the fourth (!!) time I dared to hit the brakes as hard as I could. I smashed my purse under the car seat. I'm so proud. Will you pray for me? haha
This weekend Esje came here and we went shopping in Assen. I bought 2 pairs of earrings, white jeans and some more. We went to the cinema and watched Mamma Mia, it was nice to hear all ABBA songs again. Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day.
Commenters
Check Lotte her new layout, it looks so bright and nice!! Love, love, love it! Meliane,
Helene,
MariaKristina
Montse, Pauline.
I'm amused by the way I titled this log. Am I a humoristic person? Well others say so, but this title is humoristic, because well I actually hate everything that has to do with dieting.
but guess what, I lost 2 kilograms. Yahooooww!! My salad dinners, tomatoes without mayonaise and my non chocolate diet worked. LOL :)
Or actually works, cause I want to loose more.
I added a new poem, it's about my grandma who passed away in March. I realised on my holiday in Norway, that she walked into my thoughts more often than I expected.
Voor Beppe
Ik sluit mijn ogen en adem diep in
Zou er stukje van jou bijzitten?
Je komt terug in alle vormen,
Zelfs in deze zin
Je bent nog zo verweven in mijn gedachten
Ik voel de wind door mijn krullen strelen
Het zonlicht aait mijn gezicht
Ik wil niet langer op jou wachten
Jij sloot je ogen en ademde diep in
De laatste ademteug en daar ging je
Kom je wel terug in alle vormen?
Of is het onzin?
Ben ik nog verweven in jou gedachten?
Laat jij de wind door mijn krullen gaan?
En stuur jij ook een klein beetje de zon aan?
Zit je ook op mij te wachten?
July 2008
I came back from holidays and I had a blast. Norway is sooo beautiful. I love it.
I know I just had a new lay up, but I thought it was too ugly to be up a day longer, so I put up a new layout that I like better. It's featuring Rihanna.
I listened to Take a bow over and over. (thanks to Maria)
Well this log is going to be short, but please give me some comments. And I give you one picture..
Okay I maybe overreacted a bit with Holland winning the EC. LOL we lost, and I give it to you. Russia was way better, but since they're out too... and Germany and Spain are in the finals, I take the Spanish side. For Montse's sake ;)
In 2 days I'll be leaving on my vacation. We'll be doing a car trip in Norway. Just a little summary.. day 1: We'll be going to Kiel (germany) to the ferry. yay im SO going to see the sunset on the ferry!! day 2: After breakfast at the ferry and arriving to Goteborg (Sweden) we'll be driving to Nordseter, a place close to Lillehammer (NO) day 3 + 4: We'll be staying in Nordseter. day 5:: We'll be leaving to Oppdal, it's more up to the north.. day 6,7,8: We'll be staying in Oppdal, checking out all the beautiful glaciers and stuff. day 9 - 11 Our trip continue's to Hemsedal, in that area we'll check out the sogne fjord. day 12: Today we're going back to Goteborg, where we'll take the ferry back to Kiel day 13 - 17 We'll be driving to my family in Denmark close to vejle. I'll be seeing Noah!!
Well thats about it, so tomorrow I'll be packing all my stuff. I know I'll take WAY to much stuff with me, like every year. I can't help it, lol I need shoes for diffrent locations ;)
Layout
How do you like it? I wanted a calm layout, still in my own style.
Give me some comments
Commenters Olga,
Helene,
Joyce &
Lotte.
Have you SEEN how good we are? We're going to Vienna baby!! LOL.. just wait and see ;)
For those who have been sleeping underneath a stone or something, lol I'm talking about the european champignonship!!
TAGGED: I got tagged by Helene from Crying Forest, it took a while hun, Im sloow haha :) I have to write 10 facts about myself and here they are:
01. I have no interest in soccer, only during the EC and WC haha, I love orange ;)
02. Currently I have two dogs, one im babysitting, i love it, but the lines always get messed up
03. I'm going to Norway, Germany, Sweden and Denmark in.. 1,5 week!!
04. My backstreet boys addiction have slowed down (!!!)
05. My ass got burned a week ago and it looks very charming *NOT*
06. I'm currently listening to Simon Webbe on Skyradio
07. In a few weeks I'll be living inbetween the rich people :P
08. H&M is my favourite shop
09. I'm currently lacking on the site, without a reason
10. If Holland is going to win, Ill be having fun in a nightclub at the ferry to sweden :P
I tag: whoever feels like being tagged ;)
Layout
I will put up a new layout soon, I promise.
I've been trying to write a blog for so many times, and everytime Im starting one, I press the delete button. It seems never too good enough. I wine too much, there is always sorrow. What might people think of me, will they nominate me for the most depressing site forever. Maybe they
will even stop visiting cause that chick is wining way too much. All the insercurity's are coming to me. Should I keep this site, do people still love it as much as it used to be? I don't know. I just feel emptyness, and I don't know why.
Currently Im suffering from something called sciatica (in dutch called: Ischias), this is the fourth week full of pain and ugh I get so tired. I can't do anything, things that I wanted to do can be scrapped away from my agenda.
I wanted to wait at the airport to welcome Maria back home after 4 months, but I can't travel for 2,5 hours. Same story for the concert from AJ Mclean in Paradiso. I've been doubting and doubting, but I know it won't do me any good, still I really want to go.
But the pain is horrific, it's like a knife is cutting in my leg from deep within, I didn't know that a nerve could even hurt, but now I know.
Anyway I can tell you nothing to exciting has happened the past weeks, besides a lot of doctor visits, morfine, other painkillers, laying down with no pillow.
The only good thing is maybe I bought a laptop right before I got the pain lol, so now I can type this blog down laying on my bed haha. Itīs a Fujitsu siemens Li2727. I love it YAY!
Thats not true, my causin in Denmark and her husband became proud parents of a son called Noah, Iīve seen pictures and I canīt wait to visit Denmark and see that pretty boy!
Commenters
I want to thank each and everyone of you for the lovely comments and for coming back even if I have the most depressing blog of the year. LOL my honor, and I feel guilty for writing yet another not to optimistic blog, but thats just whats in my life right now, and I canīt change it.
It's more than a month ago that I posted my last blog, I think it's the longest time not posting on SMS. I needed time. Time to think.
But ofcourse I kept checking SMS and I want to say: thank you
Thank you for the sweetest words, the virtual hugs. Knowing that people are by my side means a lot.
So what I have been doing?
I have tried to continue life, as best as I can. I think it's the best medicine. i can't sit in a corner waiting on my grandma coming back. It just isn't
going to happen. But still I can tell you it sucks ass. Sometimes I can't help to just cry when Im all alone. But don't worry I'll be okay.
I have some good news. I'll be moving to Baarn in August. I'll be doing my internship.
I don't have a lot inspiration to tell you more at the moment, you know what, just comment my new layout.
It's featuring Christina Aguilera LOVE
Commenters
I want to thank each and every one of you for your encouraging words.. It helps me :)
Since my last blog a lot of stuff happened. My grandma has past away a week ago. She's finally in a better place, I'm sure.
My grandma her leg got amputated 2,5 week ago. It all seemed fine, yes she was mentally not very well, but after surgery it seemed to go better. I was doubting like.. is this one of the many comebacks of hers? I didn't really know.
One week after the surgery, she went back to the nursinghome. The next day I was at school, I was busy with studying for a test and suddenly I got a call. My grandma had a lung infection and it wasn't going well. I decided to stay at school and visit my grandma in the eavning. Which I did.
* THURSDAY NIGHT
My mom and I arrived at the nursing home and when we walked out of the elevator, the nurses surrounded us. If we knew the situation. Yes we did, and they made us coffee and tea, they brought us cookies and stuff. So I looked at my mom thinking.. I didn't realise it was this bad. We entered the room and what I saw was heart breaking. She was in so much pain, and her eyes were all white. I hugged her.
She was in so much pain, so together with the doctor we decided to give her morfine. I ain't stupid, I know that morfine isn't a good sign. So I called up the entire family and they all came, we waited till midnight. But morfine calmed her down. She didnt open up her eyes no more. We decided to go home and get some sleep.
* FRIDAY
My family from Denmark were on their way to Holland, meanwhile I visited my grandma together with my grandpa. She never opened up her eyes, but when she heard my grandpa she did. She stared at him for a hour. She couldnt say anything, but you could see she wanted to. At that moment I realised what the definition of true love was, till death do us part.
My causins came, and they got all emotional. I didn't want to, but I hugged my grandma, and she didn't respond and i thought about how much I loved her and the tears started pouring down. I didn't want my grandpa to see them, but he did and then he held me for so long. My mom came and we stood with the three of us together. It was so.. warm
In the eavning my family from DK came and she didn't open up her eyes anymore. I knew it wasn't a good sign.
* SATURDAY
At 5.55 AM I got a call, I knew that it was wrong. We rushed to the nursing home. At 6.20 we arrived. Nobody was there, my grandma was having a hard time breathing, you could hear her lungs full with water. I hugged her, told her I love her, and to go asleep.
The next hour was full of emotions, I never saw my grandpa crying but when he came in and saw her he cryed so hard. I didn't know a human could make those sounds he made. It was heartbreaking. I was calm actually and I just stayed next to my grandma. We were there, all the children and the grandchildren who live in Holland. You could slowly hear the water coming into her throat, it was awful to hear that. I never
forget that.
The moment that she went.. I can't describe it, but the family felt as one, like we went a little bit with her, like to bring her. She looked at my grandpa, her eyes said goodbye, and that was her final breath.
I closed her eyes and hugged her, kissed her.
* THE WEEK AFTER
It's been an emotional week. You finally realise that she isn't coming back. Althrough she's in a better place, we still miss her. At the funeral I read a poem on behalf of the grandchildren. I know she's in the hands of God now.
This layout is a tribute to the most powerful woman I've ever known. She had the most optimistic and positive view on things. She thought me to never give up. I love you, my dear 'Beppe'
Commenters
I want to thank each and every one of you for your encouraging words.. It helps me :)
